There’s something about sitting in a GP surgery waiting room that can make some people feel anxious…..Men, in particular, often avoid this if they possibly can.  On 14th July, we had a discussion on  BBC Radio Nottingham’s Morning Show,  asking the question ‘Why don’t men go to the Doctor’s?’ as part of a campaign by a local GP to encourage more men to have health checks and not ignore symptoms which might need attention.

There are all kinds of influences on people: for example, family, social, cultural, educational, economic and environmental.  In Western society, historically, there has been cultural and social pressure for men to be macho and tough; signs of weakness or vulnerability have been discouraged; men have been seen, traditionally, as the ‘provider’ for the family. These attitudes are changing, more slowly in some places than others; parental modelling will be one influential change factor.

It follows that, if as a man, you believe that admitting to having something medically wrong, identifies you as weak, or significantly diminished as a man, you will be reluctant to acknowledge this. This feeling might be intensified if you were influenced by your father, and other male figures in your life, having this, often unspoken ‘code’. 

We all tend to prefer ‘control’ over ‘chaos’, and when, in therapy, I ask people to complete a scale indicating their atttitude to this, on average,men score higher than women in believing that control is/should be in the hands of the individual (rather than ‘fate’ , ‘luck’ or external factors being responsible).

Once we tell someone else (eg the GP) that we think there is something wrong with us, some of that control may feel like it is passing into someone else’s hands, a potentially scary feeling. If we have to ask for time off work to go to see the GP, this also entrusts some elements of knowledge to, for example, a line manager.

If your GP is a complete stranger, this is potentially even more worrying.  Building a trusting relationship, man to man, takes time, and tends to be generated and consolidated by a shared interest, rather than the sterile clinical setting of the surgery; there may also be a social construct of the GP being ‘superior’, a ‘power’ figure, which could exacerbate the sense of threat and vulnerability. 

Also, if you are someone who strongly prefers ‘being in control’ to a state of uncertainty and ‘going with the flow’, you are likely to want quick answers (a short-cut, ideally) , and find it particularly stressful to have to wait for various tests to be completed, which is the usual process of medical diagnosis. Searching the Internet may seem like a better alternative, but it is likely to increase anxiety, often needlessly. 

These, and other reasons, may contribute to some men ignoring symptoms, hoping they will go away, and/or becoming highly anxious when they do not, and a belated visit to the GP becomes necessary. There are no quick answers to changing attitudes, but fortunately it is becoming more acceptable for both men and women to reach out for help, sooner, as I observe from my case-load, which is currently 55% male. Having the courage to take this ‘risk’ improves quality of life; and courage is not something that the human race has historically been short on!