During my years as as a Psychotherapist, I have met many clients who were struggling to cope at a difficult time in their lives. They might say they felt lost or stuck or depressed and did not know how to move forward.

Feedback from these clients encouraged me to gradually develop some strategies which seemed to help some people, particularly when combined with therapeutic support.

Firstly, plan, then try to carry out one thing each day that you enjoy; it needs to be something that is just for you, a little extra that is potentially fun and that you might be tempted to call ‘self- indulgent’ or ‘a waste of time’. Importantly, it should not be harmful in any way. Ideas might include a walk somewhere in nature, rustling through fallen leaves or trying to catch them as they fall, or maybe trying to identify birdsong. Perhaps watching a film you loved that have seen before, or putting on some music from ‘back in the day’ and having a private dance around or singing along. Maybe, you could take some photos of a beautiful sunset or even sunrise! Or go somewhere you can get a view of stars without light pollution. It could be as simple as a soak in a warm scented bath…..

The significance of these choices is that they are all just FOR YOU. This offers you the conscious/unconscious internal message: I am worth doing this for. In other words, I am an OK- good enough person. This is important when someone is feeling low, a bit of a failure maybe, bad about themselves.

Secondly, plan then try to and carry out one thing each day that you do not expect to be thanked for, which contributes to society in some way. This could be a small donation to a charity such as homelessness, lifeboats or a donkey sanctuary, You might be eligible to give blood. Perhaps just bringing in your neighbour’s bin.

The point about this, is that it can increase your sense of belonging and mattering. It has the potential to enhance that particular need that we all tend to carry within us.

Finally, plan and try to carry out one thing each day which in some way improves your immediate environment. This could be as simple as pulling up a particular weed growing bigger daily near your door, or picking up some rubbish you have noticed. Maybe tidying a drawer that is in a mess and does not close properly; this is not about a major redecorate, although that could also be therapeutic in some cases!

I believe that the benefit here is to help the person feel a little bit more in control at a time when it can feel like everything is overwhelming, all too much, pointless.

The combination of these three things seems to be what makes them effective.